Monday, January 7, 2013
Moving!!!!
Hey guys, wanted to share some news with you--many of you, if you follow me on facebook or twitter already know. I'm moving my blog over to Wordpress, simply because it is more accessible to people; they can leave comments more easily, and honestly after playing with it for a while, I might like it better. So please, if you like what you read here, follow me over there!! My new address is melaniermeadors.wordpress.com
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Happy New Year!
Which means.... it's time for people to make resolutions.
I'm of a split mind when it comes to those things. You might have seen those pictures of the gyms on January 1st, chock full, and then two weeks later, it is empty. It's easy to say you want to do something, but another thing entirely to actually take the action to do it. But why do all these new year's resolutions fail? Why can't people follow through on them? Are they plain lazy, do they not care? Are they just shooting their mouths off?
Well, maybe, but I know some of these people who make resolutions, only to fall off the wagon a few weeks later. Heck, I've BEEN one of them. Maybe part of it had to do with being lazy, but I think more of it has to do with goal-setting. Not all goals are the same. Some are destined to fail before the person even begins. There are a couple ways, however, for you to set goals more likely to be achieved.
1. Make sure your goals are under your control. As much as we wish it were so, you can't set a realistic goal of "selling my book." You can't MAKE someone buy your book. You shouldn't have a goal to be rich, or to find Prince Charming, or to get a promotion. All of those things involve someone else's decisions or actions. Even if you do everything you possibly can, there is no guarantee that the other person is going to hold up their end. More realistic goals are: Write a book; edit a book; become more social; suck up to the boss. If you definitely want you book published this year, a goal can be to self publish your book--that's under your control. You can make a goal to submit your book, but you shouldn't have a goal to have the editor buy it (unless you really have something over that editor!).
2. Make those goals measurable in some way. Have some way of measuring your progress. This can be a word count, or hours, or chapters. Some people have goals to write a certain number of short stories. I could say, "My resolution is to write more this year," but unless I have some sort of measure, how do I know I've written more, and also, if I don't have a measured goal, it's easier to put it off. "Yeah, I'll write more. Later." Have a number of words or chapters per week that you'd like to get done. I wouldn't go longer than a week (for instance, "I'll write 25,000 words per month) because many of the writers I know are procrastinators--they'll save it for the last week!
3. Set goals incrementally. Sometimes it is best to have planned steps to get to your goal. Divide the year up into quarters so your goal isn't so huge. Re-evaluate things as time goes by, and make sure your goals are still realistic.
Above all, make sure your journey through the year is enjoyable. Yes, of course some parts of writing are painful. But keep the joy in it by having a clear vision of your goal, and know that every day, you are getting closer to it.
I'll talk about my own personal goals in the next post. But for a preview, head over to Dean Wesley Smith's blog and read his articles about writing in 2013, and some of his ideas about goals, etc. I'll be drawing a lot from them, as well as from Heinlein's rules (which I've been trying to follow for years, but I think I might finally "get them" enough to actually do it this year).
Best of luck to everyone this year, whether you have a resolution or not!
I'm of a split mind when it comes to those things. You might have seen those pictures of the gyms on January 1st, chock full, and then two weeks later, it is empty. It's easy to say you want to do something, but another thing entirely to actually take the action to do it. But why do all these new year's resolutions fail? Why can't people follow through on them? Are they plain lazy, do they not care? Are they just shooting their mouths off?
Well, maybe, but I know some of these people who make resolutions, only to fall off the wagon a few weeks later. Heck, I've BEEN one of them. Maybe part of it had to do with being lazy, but I think more of it has to do with goal-setting. Not all goals are the same. Some are destined to fail before the person even begins. There are a couple ways, however, for you to set goals more likely to be achieved.
1. Make sure your goals are under your control. As much as we wish it were so, you can't set a realistic goal of "selling my book." You can't MAKE someone buy your book. You shouldn't have a goal to be rich, or to find Prince Charming, or to get a promotion. All of those things involve someone else's decisions or actions. Even if you do everything you possibly can, there is no guarantee that the other person is going to hold up their end. More realistic goals are: Write a book; edit a book; become more social; suck up to the boss. If you definitely want you book published this year, a goal can be to self publish your book--that's under your control. You can make a goal to submit your book, but you shouldn't have a goal to have the editor buy it (unless you really have something over that editor!).
2. Make those goals measurable in some way. Have some way of measuring your progress. This can be a word count, or hours, or chapters. Some people have goals to write a certain number of short stories. I could say, "My resolution is to write more this year," but unless I have some sort of measure, how do I know I've written more, and also, if I don't have a measured goal, it's easier to put it off. "Yeah, I'll write more. Later." Have a number of words or chapters per week that you'd like to get done. I wouldn't go longer than a week (for instance, "I'll write 25,000 words per month) because many of the writers I know are procrastinators--they'll save it for the last week!
3. Set goals incrementally. Sometimes it is best to have planned steps to get to your goal. Divide the year up into quarters so your goal isn't so huge. Re-evaluate things as time goes by, and make sure your goals are still realistic.
Above all, make sure your journey through the year is enjoyable. Yes, of course some parts of writing are painful. But keep the joy in it by having a clear vision of your goal, and know that every day, you are getting closer to it.
I'll talk about my own personal goals in the next post. But for a preview, head over to Dean Wesley Smith's blog and read his articles about writing in 2013, and some of his ideas about goals, etc. I'll be drawing a lot from them, as well as from Heinlein's rules (which I've been trying to follow for years, but I think I might finally "get them" enough to actually do it this year).
Best of luck to everyone this year, whether you have a resolution or not!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Wrapping up the old year, welcoming the new
Now that 2012 is wrapping up, I'm looking forward to the new year. I've accomplished so much this year. At the beginning of the year, I said that 2012 is the year that is going to be a turning point in my life. I wanted to leave behind the days of thinking that my life was just wasting away, that I was not accomplishing anything for myself, that I was giving, giving, giving every ounce of my energy away on other people and on things that just didn't matter. I also wanted to find a balance, a way to find time to do everything I wanted to do, all the things that were important to me. And although things didn't happen exactly how I had planned, the end goal was accomplished. I think I really found myself this year, and I am really pleased with the start I've made.
Of course, while I did accomplish a lot, some other things had to slide to make way for the new. I think 2013 is going to be the year for balancing things even more. Housework and health, especially. The trick is going to be not letting the things I accomplished this year slide while I catch up with the new things. I want to make a new schedule, making a little more time for things like housework, because I want to show my son how important it is to have your home be a nest where you want to be, that is comfortable and warm. My house isn't nasty or anything, but it has never been a priority. It doesn't need to be absolutely spotless, but I'd like it to be nice, and most importantly, I'd like there to be a place for everything. I want to think about all the things I like to do, and then make the space to allow me (and everyone else) to just do that thing.
I've made some very important decisions this year, after doing a lot of experimentation. And I have learned a lot. The most important thing I've learned, I think, is that every part of my life is connected. My writing, my parenting, my marriage, the house--I can't make decisions on one aspect without it affect the other parts as well. I've also discovered that I feel more comfortable with "later." Later exists--I don't have to have everything and do everything right now, in this second. With my attention issues, this is a really hard thing for me. I feel like if something isn't happening now, it's never going to happen. It causes me a lot of stress. But I need to really work on the idea that everything is not instantaneous.
I had a very successful year, relatively. I placed in several contests, joined a writing group (which I will be vice president of next year--go CTRWA!), wrote a novel, made so many new friends. My confidence level has gone way up. I kind of feel like 2012 was the first year of the rest of my life.
I hope you all have at least had an enlightening year, if not an entirely good one. I know every year is a rough one for someone. In the next couple posts, I hope to start listing some new years resolutions!
Of course, while I did accomplish a lot, some other things had to slide to make way for the new. I think 2013 is going to be the year for balancing things even more. Housework and health, especially. The trick is going to be not letting the things I accomplished this year slide while I catch up with the new things. I want to make a new schedule, making a little more time for things like housework, because I want to show my son how important it is to have your home be a nest where you want to be, that is comfortable and warm. My house isn't nasty or anything, but it has never been a priority. It doesn't need to be absolutely spotless, but I'd like it to be nice, and most importantly, I'd like there to be a place for everything. I want to think about all the things I like to do, and then make the space to allow me (and everyone else) to just do that thing.
I've made some very important decisions this year, after doing a lot of experimentation. And I have learned a lot. The most important thing I've learned, I think, is that every part of my life is connected. My writing, my parenting, my marriage, the house--I can't make decisions on one aspect without it affect the other parts as well. I've also discovered that I feel more comfortable with "later." Later exists--I don't have to have everything and do everything right now, in this second. With my attention issues, this is a really hard thing for me. I feel like if something isn't happening now, it's never going to happen. It causes me a lot of stress. But I need to really work on the idea that everything is not instantaneous.
I had a very successful year, relatively. I placed in several contests, joined a writing group (which I will be vice president of next year--go CTRWA!), wrote a novel, made so many new friends. My confidence level has gone way up. I kind of feel like 2012 was the first year of the rest of my life.
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| Visit the Monkey Shop for last minute gift ideas! |
Sunday, December 9, 2012
I've Got the Write Stuff, Baby
First, before I forget, I was interviewed on the Scribbler's Ink website. Stop by and feel free to ask any questions!
So, back to the Write Stuff... I just did a writing exercise that changed my life, and I didn't even lift a pencil.
Last week, per the suggestion of writing friend Martin L. Shoemaker, I pick up a book called The Write Stuff, by Barry B. Goodyear. It's a fat book about "writing the best stories of which you are capable." The book is full of assignments for you to do in order to improve your writing. You can't just read your way through this book and get the benefits, you have to work your way through it.
A lot of the beginning of the book has to do with self-discovery, knowing who you are as a person so you can know who you are as a writer. One exercise sounded kind of off the wall, but as I wanted to really get into the spirit of things (and make progress on my decluttering), I decided to go for it.
Step one of the assignment: go around your house and collect the books that are really special to you. The ones you've read fifty times, or at least three or five times. Put them in a pile. Then do the same for DVDs, CDs, even art. Longyear then gives a long list of genres/categories, both fiction and nonfiction, and tells readers to sort all their stuff into those categories (yes, you'll have piles of junk all over the house). Now, look at the biggest pile (and for me, there was no mistaking which pile THAT was). That pile is you. It's you as a person, and it's you as a writer.
He preempts the question, "Well, what if I want to write kid's books but my biggest pile is mysteries?" His answer is that what you want to write and what is truly you and what is in your heart don't always jive. If you want to write mysteries, for example, but your biggest pile is historical romance, he wants you to really think about why. Why do you want to write something that doesn't represent what you surround yourself with every day?
I really suggest you pick up a copy of Longyear's book (available as an ebook, too). My pile truly opened my eyes. It made me feel extremely...relieved. I felt relieved to find myself once more. When I looked back at my bookshelf afterward I was shocked to see how much I had been deceiving myself, as far as who I am, etc.
Some of it has been a coping mechanism. We had a really tough year in our house a couple years ago, with a matter that I won't go into here, but where I felt as though I failed someone in a big way. I think some of my putting certain things aside had to do with hiding a side of me that felt shame, inadequacy, and other pleasant things like that. It was a part of my grieving process, I think, to hide my Harry Potters and Narnia books. A lot of my anime and manga were put away. Robin McKinley, Neil Gaiman, Ursula LeGuin, Diana Wynn Jones, all collected dust on my top shelves. To do this exercise, I had to take them all down again, because those were the books I had always gone to. I haven't read the same book twice since I put them away. I had to look into that mirror that Atreyu has to look into in the Neverending Story, and see my true self.
Well, I did it, and for the first time in a couple years I wasn't ashamed or disgusted with what I saw. I wasn't filled with anxiety upon hearing the young voice inside me, I didn't feel afraid that I would betray it, so I finally was able to listen to it. And I started to write down what it said...
So, back to the Write Stuff... I just did a writing exercise that changed my life, and I didn't even lift a pencil.
A lot of the beginning of the book has to do with self-discovery, knowing who you are as a person so you can know who you are as a writer. One exercise sounded kind of off the wall, but as I wanted to really get into the spirit of things (and make progress on my decluttering), I decided to go for it.
Step one of the assignment: go around your house and collect the books that are really special to you. The ones you've read fifty times, or at least three or five times. Put them in a pile. Then do the same for DVDs, CDs, even art. Longyear then gives a long list of genres/categories, both fiction and nonfiction, and tells readers to sort all their stuff into those categories (yes, you'll have piles of junk all over the house). Now, look at the biggest pile (and for me, there was no mistaking which pile THAT was). That pile is you. It's you as a person, and it's you as a writer.
He preempts the question, "Well, what if I want to write kid's books but my biggest pile is mysteries?" His answer is that what you want to write and what is truly you and what is in your heart don't always jive. If you want to write mysteries, for example, but your biggest pile is historical romance, he wants you to really think about why. Why do you want to write something that doesn't represent what you surround yourself with every day?
I really suggest you pick up a copy of Longyear's book (available as an ebook, too). My pile truly opened my eyes. It made me feel extremely...relieved. I felt relieved to find myself once more. When I looked back at my bookshelf afterward I was shocked to see how much I had been deceiving myself, as far as who I am, etc.
Some of it has been a coping mechanism. We had a really tough year in our house a couple years ago, with a matter that I won't go into here, but where I felt as though I failed someone in a big way. I think some of my putting certain things aside had to do with hiding a side of me that felt shame, inadequacy, and other pleasant things like that. It was a part of my grieving process, I think, to hide my Harry Potters and Narnia books. A lot of my anime and manga were put away. Robin McKinley, Neil Gaiman, Ursula LeGuin, Diana Wynn Jones, all collected dust on my top shelves. To do this exercise, I had to take them all down again, because those were the books I had always gone to. I haven't read the same book twice since I put them away. I had to look into that mirror that Atreyu has to look into in the Neverending Story, and see my true self.
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| Atreyu at the mirror gate |
Friday, November 23, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Crazy!
Well, the last couple weeks have been interesting to say the least! I went to Seattle, where I won second place in the Emerald City Opener contest for His Roman Heart's Desire. I had two full manuscripts and one partial requested from me, and found a lead on another publisher who is actively interested in ancient Rome. Then, I got an email telling me my flight home was canceled because of Hurricane Sandy.
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| Looking tres refined (and a bit devilish) at the Emerald City Writers Conference |
Not cool.
I wasn't very worried about myself. I have a few friends in the Seattle area, and so I crashed at my friend Jane's house. But I was pretty concerned about my son (who already has issues with separation anxiety) and husband. Thank goodness, everyone pulled through.
Once I finally got home, I received word that I won third place in the SFA-RWA Heart to Heart contest, and I was also a finalist in Nashville's Melody of Love contest for His Roman Heart's Desire. I also received an honorable mention for my romantic fantasy story "Brownie Points" in the Writers of the Future contest.
Oh, and did I mention I will be vice president of CTRWA next year? Phew!
I'm in the midst of heavily revising HRHD, so much so that it can only be called a complete rewrite! I feel really good about this, though, because I can already tell my changes make the story so much stronger. This is my NaNoWriMo project--to rewrite HRHD so it will be ready in December. Let's hope that all the excitement of the past couple weeks will finally calm down and I can get back down to work!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Handling stress?
Heh, I woke up this morning with this horrible thought:
"I can't do this!"
There are two very specific things going on in my life right now this pertains to. Both of which I know I can handle (I can handle ANYTHING. There may be some blood and tears, but sure, I can handle it!), but they are new situations for me, things I've never done before. I'm at two transition points, and while I am a big fan of change--I like new things and having adventures--it's stressful just the same.
There are things that can help anyone feeling stressed. First, make sure your body is in good shape. Eat right and get some exercise. You'd be surprised at how much just those two things can help. Feeling stressed is a physical reaction to your mind's worries. The better the condition of your body, the better it is prepared to cope with these reactions. It's also a cycle. If your body feels better, your mind will, too.
Another thing that helps is thinking about what is stressing you so you can either take control of the situation, or so you can let go of things you can't change. For example, one thing that give me stress about an upcoming change is the fact that I don't have a car. The change is going to be more difficult without one. But... I'm doing everything I can do about that. I'm hoping that at some point in the next year, I can get one. For now, I will just have to rely on the kindness of my husband. Once I have a car, a lot of the stress of this particular thing will be alleviated. Another thing that stresses me out a little is not knowing exactly what to do--I'm going to have a new position and holy smokes, I just have no clue. Well, that is actually pretty easy--get learning. I can contact the previous person in this position, and also learn by doing. Once I started really thinking, OK, what am I stressed about EXACTLY, I found out that most of it was about the unknown. So I just have to make those things "known." I also do know that I will have support. If I really need help with something, there are people I can ask for help. If I went into something without support, what would I do? I think I would probably create some sort of artificial support. Tag someone and say, "You know, I'm ____ (fill in the blank with stressful situation), and I just need to know you are there for me." It's not even a person I want to physically help me with something, it's a person that I know believes I can do this job, or at least believes that I'm an OK person ;). Someone who is not going to ask, "Well, what the hell did you get yourself into this situation for, anyway?" It's not someone who will help you fix things, it's just someone who you can say, "I know you can't fix this, but I just need to get a few things off my chest. Could you just listen for a couple minutes?"
One things that's stressing me out this week (this is the smaller of the things)? Pitching my novel this week. But that's something under my control. I just need to prepare!
I hope all you ROW 80 folks are doing well so far this week. It's been a slow week for me productivity-wise; it's always hard to write when I'm stressed out. But hopefully things will settle down, and I will find a new routine to make everything work out. The series on time management and goal setting is still in the works--I didn't mean to leave everyone hanging with "time management pt. 1," but things exploded a little, as they tend to do. That's what I get though, for breaking one of my cardinal rules: always be two steps ahead. Usually when I'm stressed, it's because I didn't follow that rule!
But more on that later.
"I can't do this!"
There are two very specific things going on in my life right now this pertains to. Both of which I know I can handle (I can handle ANYTHING. There may be some blood and tears, but sure, I can handle it!), but they are new situations for me, things I've never done before. I'm at two transition points, and while I am a big fan of change--I like new things and having adventures--it's stressful just the same.
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| Even Fritz gets anxious and depressed from time to time |
Another thing that helps is thinking about what is stressing you so you can either take control of the situation, or so you can let go of things you can't change. For example, one thing that give me stress about an upcoming change is the fact that I don't have a car. The change is going to be more difficult without one. But... I'm doing everything I can do about that. I'm hoping that at some point in the next year, I can get one. For now, I will just have to rely on the kindness of my husband. Once I have a car, a lot of the stress of this particular thing will be alleviated. Another thing that stresses me out a little is not knowing exactly what to do--I'm going to have a new position and holy smokes, I just have no clue. Well, that is actually pretty easy--get learning. I can contact the previous person in this position, and also learn by doing. Once I started really thinking, OK, what am I stressed about EXACTLY, I found out that most of it was about the unknown. So I just have to make those things "known." I also do know that I will have support. If I really need help with something, there are people I can ask for help. If I went into something without support, what would I do? I think I would probably create some sort of artificial support. Tag someone and say, "You know, I'm ____ (fill in the blank with stressful situation), and I just need to know you are there for me." It's not even a person I want to physically help me with something, it's a person that I know believes I can do this job, or at least believes that I'm an OK person ;). Someone who is not going to ask, "Well, what the hell did you get yourself into this situation for, anyway?" It's not someone who will help you fix things, it's just someone who you can say, "I know you can't fix this, but I just need to get a few things off my chest. Could you just listen for a couple minutes?"
One things that's stressing me out this week (this is the smaller of the things)? Pitching my novel this week. But that's something under my control. I just need to prepare!
I hope all you ROW 80 folks are doing well so far this week. It's been a slow week for me productivity-wise; it's always hard to write when I'm stressed out. But hopefully things will settle down, and I will find a new routine to make everything work out. The series on time management and goal setting is still in the works--I didn't mean to leave everyone hanging with "time management pt. 1," but things exploded a little, as they tend to do. That's what I get though, for breaking one of my cardinal rules: always be two steps ahead. Usually when I'm stressed, it's because I didn't follow that rule!
But more on that later.
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